A look into how our family began and what their love has taught me.
PART 1: TRANSCRIPT
DAD: I think your mother and me waited until we were more mature. I didn't meet your mother until I was 27. I don't believe I was ready to meet your mother before then. I wasn't secure enough as a person. And from what your mother has told me, I believe she felt the same way. So, I believe it's not only important to fall in love with somebody and have a connection, but you also have to be at the right place in your life to make it work. Also, my sisters used to make fun of me for being too picky. But then as I got older I started realizing what it takes to make a relationship work.
DAUGHTER: When did you first know you were in love with mom?
DAD: The first time I knew I was in love with your mom was when we were together for holidays. For my family, the thought process is kind of like I got to be there by 5:30. So, I can probably get out of there by 7:30 so I can start doing my own thing? But with her family it’s a completely different story. They rent out a hall and there’s literally so many people that want to see each other, which was a shock to me. I know it's supposed to be that way, but it still amazed me that a hundred plus people were all happy to see each other and full of love. And there was a moment toward the end when I met her grandma. Now my grandmother, I loved her but she had a hard time saying I love you. I don't remember her ever saying I love you to me. She would just say me too. And I could tell that she was not happy with her older life. She was ready to go. Kelly's grandma was dancing as much as anybody up until 85. She always told jokes and loved to tease. And I just remember looking around seeing the family and I almost started crying. Now you've got to remember, I don't cry that much. And I certainly didn't want to cry around complete strangers, and I almost lost it thinking what the hell is going on? Why do I feel this way? And I was like people are going to think you're weird, you know? And that’s when I was like, I'm really falling for this girl. I want to be a part of this.
DAUGHTER: Can I also ask you when you knew you were ready to be a dad?
DAD: Sometimes I still wonder if I am.
DAUGHTER: Well shit, little late for that.
DAD: Well, you got to remember we were terrified to get married, right? That's why we ran off to Vegas. But after that, we pretty much started right away as soon as we got married. So, I guess that line is a little gray for me because there was fear there that I was going to break you. You just seemed so fragile to me and some fear of, you know, am I up for the job?
DAUGHTER: It's surprising that you wanted to have kids right away since you were so terrified of getting married.
DAD: Terrified more of getting married in front of people.
DAUGHTER: But why?
DAD: Because of the pressure of being in front of all those people. And you know, at that point, we knew we wanted to get married but the word forever use to scare us.
DAUGHTER: Oh.
DAD: And one out of two marriages fail, and you certainly don't want to get married to somebody and have kids and find out that they're not the right one.
DAUGHTER: Yeah, it's sad how often that happens.
DAD: You know, falling in love can be scary, but it's also the most amazing thing that’s happened to me, besides you being born.
PART 2: MY THOUGHTS
One of my favorite stories from my parent's past is the story of their marriage because it was so atypical. I used to love telling my friends about it, but I never really understood why they decided to elope to Las Vegas when they both hated gambling and loved their families. You think they'd at least want their parents there. But, when Kelly's family started asking for dates so they could plan their vacation around the wedding, my parents got scared.
When my mom saw super cheap tickets to Las Vegas, she asked my dad offhandedly if he wanted to go. To her surprise, he said yes. A few days after their arrival, on Friday the thirteenth of 1997, they had a priest drive them out to Cathedral Canyon, which was recommended to them by their taxi driver. My mom wore a simple, black dress with a white scarf. The canyon ended up being an ugly, big hole in the desert, and the guy that married them was very theatrical, like the priest in The Princess Bride.
Telling this story by the light of a campfire to my friends makes me feel cool, like I am unique because of my family's background, which is something every young person searches for. But it was only recently that I realized how much this story exemplified my parent's love and their values. My parents have never been that showy, especially my mom, and they have always been very practical with their money. As my dad likes to tell me, the average wedding costs as much as a new car.
Getting married just the two of them, against all the norms of American wedding culture, wasn't an act of rebellion but rather a display of their devotion to a family which is built on being genuine. In all my years, my parents have never tried to be anyone but themselves. They didn't require me to wear a mask to make others like me or join activities just to get ahead. I was never expected to be anything but myself, which I've realized is the most authentic, fulfilling path they could have carved for me.